A NEW BLOG

I have changed my blog to:
www.younique-riley.blogspot.com
so go there horh.
WHEEEEHHH

Am I myself?

I want to find my true self.
Am I really who I really am?
Am I just me?
Am I being myself?
In the past, when I read stories of how teens have an identity crisis during this period, I was like "Really meh?", now what I have reached this stage, yeah, it's true. It's happening. I struggle to find who I really am. Am I just being who people want me to be? I don't know. Maybe. So I am gonna take this holidays to get to know myself better.

Yeah, so so what if one gets good grades? Without friendship patched up, well, life sucks. Yeah. Literally. Friendship is for a lifetime. Even when you get bad grades they comfort you. True friends do. It's the last day of school , can't believe I am stuck at home, feeling damn freaking bored. Then it struck me that perhaps I have been so obsessed with studies that I forgot how to socialise. Perhaps. I am going to check on myself this holidays. I wonder what went wrong. I hope to patch up these 2 friendship soon. Wanted to patch up one today but unfortunately, it perhaps wasn't meant to be. Wasn't free. Yeah, life sucks. I have lost the faith in life perhaps. Without those 2, I can never be happy. Thinking of how happy we were, how we well, used to have fun, and now... Life sucks. Yeah, not talking to 2 people at the same time sucks dude. Gosh. I wonder why I am emo-ing again. Growing up sucks. I can't adapt to the change in people. So scary. So well, just oh my. And when I want to be good friends with someone, it always doesn't get reciprocated nowadays. Yeah, life sucks. Literally.
And yeah, when am I evER GONNA KNOW THE RESULTS? Yeah, life sucks. Sorry Kim, I am not being optimistic. =( Thanks though for cheering me on. =D

rANDOM

Elective was fun and sad. Fun cause drama rocks. Sad cause it's the last day. =(
Heyhey, drama was awesome kay?
And today was totally awesome and funny. Ms Isla was perhaps more funny than usual. And Wei Xuan (The guy one) hahas, his speech damn cute sia. He was talking about what chim stuffs on why mans are not equal, talking about that brains, what 3 parts, what mono..... Hahas. No offence kay? I am not laughing at you or anything, just saying it was nice. Yeah, and so other people's also very good and funny. Totally entertaining and achieved it's intention to draw our attention. And Evangel the ahem was being so lame. She was like saying I like Fraser when it is obvious I don't . So we were SMS-ing each other. And she damn lag sia. Her SMS damn lag. Hahahs. And then she was like trying to know more about how I got to know Fraser eh. LOLS. Who's the person who anyhow spread the rumour arh? Tsktsk, FYI, I DON'T LIKE HIM.
Ohya and, I LOVE DRAMA!
lols, Drama maybe tiring, taxing, whatever, but I somehow still love it. So the stress, the journey of what torture all "heck-care", cause DRAMA'S SIMPLY AWESOMEEEE! (Really? Eh, I don't know leh, but I like don't hate drama or anything.)
ANYWAY, TODAY WAS A FAIRYHAPPY TALE! =D

Audition

I LOVE EDS!!!!!!!!!
LOL.

I went for the audition for eds today. lols, if I don't get in I die lah.
lols.
I think maybe I will get in?
I hope.
If not all my hopes, my dreams in EDS will all be dashed.. Dashed, broken, spoilt, destroyed. Sigh. I hope can get in cause I love drama a lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! if not why would i even want to do drama for elective? Tsktsk. Let me get in lehhh. Lols, I can only wait wait wait wait for the news. Hopefully the good news. =DD
Ps, I don't know why but nowadays I am very lazy to type. lols. See, my typing sucks.

level camp

Hahas.
I can't believe I am only posting about level camp like 4 days after I arrived at mainland Singapore?
Hahas.
But level camp was real fun.
the instructors were great, funny, nice, and just good lah.
and then the food not bad lol.
the games were quite boring to be frank.
the high element was nice and so was the low element.
and please, the night walk wasn't that scary.
but still, salute to the instructors who put in lots of efforts into this camp, because you guys well, just slept a few hours everyday just for this camp, so yeah, THANKS!!!
sO YEAH, I LOVE SINGAPORE, CAUSE SINGAPORE IS STILL THE BEST, why leh?
NO MOSQUITOES (AT LEAST NOT AS MANY AS PULAU UBIN)
NICE BED
NICE SCENERY
NICE TOILETS (YEAH, THOSE AT PULAU UBIN SUCKS, EXCEPT MAYBE FOR THE CHALET'S =D)
(OKAY, WHY AM I TYPIING IIN CAPSS?)
aiya, just know what Singapore damn good jiu okay liao .=DDD
WORLD PEACE!!!!!!!
5 & 6 rockkkk!!!

Greyson Chance Singing Paparazzi

Man, this kid sure's a talent.

When I first heard his voice, I thought it was Lady Gaga's. Man, he's awesome, he will really make it big. His voice is good, sounds like a lady and an adult and is really able to bring out the mood of the song. A genius. Dude, maybe he will make it big or even bigger than Justin Bieber. GO WATCH THIS VIDEO. HE'S REALLY DAMN AWESOME!!!

Growing up

Ironic.
That's how I call it.
I never expected this to let me see things from your perspectives. Seeing things from your perspectives make it easier to forget you. Really. Cause I began to see things from a different light and really, it is like so awesome and surprising. What I had in mind initially of your thoughts were mostly wrong. I found that I began to understand you better and accept what you did to me. Cause if it was me, I would have perhaps done the same too. I finally understood what it means that the hatred is built up over time. So is like, I don't really blame you anymore. Cause I understood your reasons. Come to think of it, I feel, still feel, really regretful that I had been so immature in the past. I had not been so sensitive to your feelings and didn't know how to behave properly like an adult, as in such that I won't hurt you with my insensitive actions. Really, I am beginning to see things from another perspective. I was pondering it over these few days. Surprisingly, when I first see things from your perspectives, I really could calm down. The feeling wasn't so intense. Just regrets. Because I realised you were right. Perhaps you didn't like me initially, found the right "spot" in your life. We were really suckish. I know how it feels. How it feels to tell them you feel left out. Cause if it was me, I couldn't have done it to. I would have moved on to greener pasture. So I don't blame you, really. Just that, I think maybe if I looked back at this incident when I am more matured, perhaps I would have told them. Yeah, perhaps. Empathy. It really let you see things from a different perspectives. Then you just realised the other person just felt left out. And you felt it was right. And you felt like a jerk. I know it is awkward to talk to someone after you have not had a proper conversation with the person for a few months. The pain is perhaps still there. Because I realised with recent incidents that the pain makes every happy moments a pale shadow. The hatred and unhappiness built up over time overpowers everything. Same for me. So I fully understand what you went through. I am just sorry for everything I have done. I should hadn't been so shy to express my problems. Shouldn't have kept everything to myself. So I learnt to confide. Because keeping everything to yourself isn't good. It's unhealthy. I just realised it. So I learnt to confide. If I could rewind time, I would wish I had been more matured back then and not so shy and embarrassed to share, then perhaps this friendship would have been salvaged and even become better. Perhaps my life would be so much happier. Really. Without you in the beginning was pure hell. Cause I realised I went too deep into the friendship. I was growing up. I felt very confused and really needed directions in my life. Life was evolving. I just want to say "Sorry" for everything I have done. Everything was justified perhaps. But perhaps it was "" , because it opened my eyes to learning life skills. It made me learnt many. To cherish others like never before because you never know what will happen tomorrow. To be more sensitive. To learn to share. To learn to trust. But I won't blame myself too much because environmental and prior experiences and personality made me unwilling. I will just change. And what's more, you have a good and happy life now. With your newly- found friends, your life has never been so happy. So I just realised that our friendships were perhaps never meant to be. We hadn't find our “spots" in life. You have found yours I guess. So I am happy for you, though rueful, wishing I had cherished you more. But time does not wait for man. Then I was thinking, so what if we got back? Would it be a happy one? I doubt so. Because our friendship is already so strained. It's been so many months without a single proper decent conversation. And what's more, I doubt I will fit in with you, your life, and your newly- found clique. So then I will be like "Why aren't we what we used to be? Why aren't you talking much to me?" Then we would argue. then our friendship would strain further. Then finally when it all ends, it would be an extremely bitter breakup. Then my life and your life would be in shambles. So in short, the consequences would be disastrous. So perhaps things should be left where it was. I regret some but don't regret some. Even though I extremely wished to go back to the past ,rewind, reset, but nah, it would be impossible, Even though I longed to get back with you because the memories we had were just so hard to let go, I have to let go. Because destiny has planned out the routes of life. Every action leads to a consequence. Because even it we got back, it may and most likely won't be a happy one which would eventually lead to a breakup. I know how awkward it is to see me everyday and I see you everyday without talking. It only makes you immune to it and somehow makes the hatred deeper. I don't want that to happen. I want to lead the remaining 6 months with this class on a happy note. So I shall be more "talking" to open up so things with you would get better. I don't really harbour any thoughts of getting back with you but it's allright. I understand. Because things have already changed. No longer possible to go back in time and reset. I won't force things the hard way. I finally understood, 7 months later. Only. So your actions are justified. Be it in the past or now. I will let go. Of something that won't work out.

Think positive

Think positive.
Life would get positive, even though I kind of am dying.
Yay!
After next wed, is the long awaited.............
BREAK!
YAY!
WOHOOOO!
Level Camp (Even though I hate the mosquitoes at Pulau Ubin < Did I spell correccctly?), Elective! Yay, drama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Come on, cindy, jiayouuuu, you can de!
lalala.
ihearteds!
ihearteds!
ihearteds! =D
because of thinking positive, I shall try to stop dwelling on the pastt =D
looking forward to june hols.
going out with kim and gang? =DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

WHOLE NEW LIFE =D

Ta-da!

This is my newest blog, Forver and Always.

Okay, I think it's apt huh.

Cause this blog name kind of makes me stick to being "forever and always", being truthful to myself. The "up" shows my growing up "forever and always". So in the sense, I just hope to be a better person both physically (like huh? I also don't know why I put this leh) and mentally=D

I know this blog is kind of plain, but it suits me perfectly I guess, neither too plain nor too "ugly".
So Ta-da!

Btw, JOE JONAS AND DYT ROCK!